Sermon Jazzers      from Voicings Publications Each day SearchGodsWord.org and Voicing Publications posts for our users a fresh Sermon Jazzer illustration handpicked for usage with the "Sunday Sermon".   Today's Sermon Jazzer deals with the subject of 'christmas'. Click here to preview today's "Sunday Sermon." The only cards that really count Are that extremely small amount From real friends who keep in touch Just because they love us much. Some ways indeed are very odd By which we hail the birth of God We raise the price of things in shops We give plain boxes fancy tops And stuff which traders cannot sell Thus parcel'd go extremely well We dole out bribes we call a present To those to whom we must be pleasant The time draws near the birth of Christ a present that cannot be priced Given two thousand years ago Yet if God had not given so He still would be a distant stranger And not the Christ-Child in the manger. --Betjeman, J. (Adapted). Voicings Publications, Inc. Copyright, 2001. All rights reserved. Reproduction in any form is strictly prohibited.   Each week two new illustrations are posted from the "Handbook of Pulpit Humor: 101 Humorous Sermon Illustrations. Illustration #1 deals with the subjects of 'fasting, poverty and sacrifice'. An American philanthropist went to Israel to inspect several Houses of Worship to which he had been sending contributions. In an obscure corner of Negev he met with the rabbi of an impoverished synagogue. "We need more help," the rabbi pleaded. "This place is falling apart and the congregation is too poor to do anything about it." "Tell me, rabbi, how much do they pay you?" the visitor asked. "Twenty five dollars a month," said the rabbi. "That's all these poor people can afford." "But how do you manage to live on that?" came the next question. "Well, I'm a religious man," said the rabbi, "and if I didn't fast three times a week, I'd starve to death." The Handbook of Pulpit Humor: 101 Humorous Sermon Illustrations. From The Editors of Sunday Sermons. Copyright, 1999. All rights reserved. Reproduction in any form is strictly prohibited. Illustration #2 deals with the subjects of 'sincerity, allurement and hypocrisy'. An impetuous young man spied a beautiful young woman walking through the park. Immediately, he began to follow her. After a time, the young woman turned and confronted him: "Why are you following me?" she demanded. "Because you are so beautiful," he answered fervently. "I am madly in love with you and wish you to be mine." To which the young woman replied, "But why don't you look behind you to see my younger sister. She is far more beautiful than I." The young man quickly wheeled about but saw no one. "You're putting me on" he said. "You have lied to me." To which she replied, "If you were so madly in love with me, then why did you turn around?" The Handbook of Pulpit Humor: 101 Humorous Sermon Illustrations. From The Editors of Sunday Sermons. Copyright, 1999. All rights reserved. Reproduction in any form is strictly prohibited.