Sermon Jazzers      from Voicings Publications Each day SearchGodsWord.org and Voicing Publications posts for our users a fresh Sermon Jazzer illustration handpicked for usage with the "Sunday Sermon".   Today's Sermon Jazzer deals with the subject of 'standards'. Click here to preview today's "Sunday Sermon." Once, on a battlefield, the flag got far ahead of the soldiers. An officer called back to his superior and asked, "Shall we bring the flag back to the regiment?" "No," came the reply, "make the regiment catch up with the flag!" The New Testament Standard is far ahead of most of the Church today. Although it is true that our Church membership is made up of persons in all stages of personal growth and development and commitment, nevertheless we musn't reduce our standards to conform to the lowest levels. Rather, we should constantly strive to "make the regiment catch up to the flag," so to speak. We must constantly strive to make the Church move ever closer to Christ! Voicings Publications, Inc. Copyright, 2001. All rights reserved. Reproduction in any form is strictly prohibited.   Each week two new illustrations are posted from the "Handbook of Pulpit Humor: 101 Humorous Sermon Illustrations. Illustration #1 deals with the subjects of 'business, corporate ladder, enterprise and in-laws'. Comedian Soupy Sales tells the story of a young man with "Yuppie" ambitions who married the daughter of a wealthy businessman. After the honeymoon, the new father-in-law called the new son-in-law into his office and announced that he had made him a full partner in the business. The young man was ecstatic. He had arrived! "Wow! Already I've got it made," he said to himself, "and I'm not even thirty." Then the older man said, "As for your duties, son, I've decided to start you off as treasurer of the company." "Sorry, Dad, but I can't do that. I don't know enough about investments and economics and taxes and accounting." "All right, son, you can start in the shipping department where you can learn the business from the bottom up -- packaging and loading our products for distribution." "Sorry, Dad, but I can't do that. I've got a bad back." "You realize, of course, son, that when I retire you'll become Chairman of the Board!" "Sorry, Dad, but it wouldn't work. I'm not the executive type." The father-in-law's patience had run out... "All right, son, what do you suggest?" "Well, Dad, since I'm a full partner in the business, why don't you buy me out?" The Handbook of Pulpit Humor: 101 Humorous Sermon Illustrations. From The Editors of Sunday Sermons. Copyright, 1999. All rights reserved. Reproduction in any form is strictly prohibited. Illustration #2 deals with the subjects of 'recognition, brother and identity'. A young mother, after putting her two children to bed one night, changed into an over-sized sweatshirt and an old pair of jeans, and proceeded to wash her hair. She could hear the children running around and getting wilder and noisier. So, finishing her shampoo as quickly as she could, she wrapped a large Turkish towel around her head, stormed into their room and put them back to bed with a stern warning to stay there. As she left, she heard her two-year-old say to his sister in a trembling voice, "Who was that?" The Handbook of Pulpit Humor: 101 Humorous Sermon Illustrations. From The Editors of Sunday Sermons. Copyright, 1999. All rights reserved. Reproduction in any form is strictly prohibited.